There once was a pirate called Nig;
He spent his days in the brig
For wearing the old captain’s hat
And being a nasty prat.
The Captain was sick of his games,
The teasing and calling names;
He chose to get rid of the scum,
One night as he chugged some rum.
He snuck out while Nig was asleep;
He tiptoed without a peep.
But Nig was a strange little man,
And somehow he sensed his plan.
Nig woke up and produced his blade,
But the Captain grinned and made
Off like nothing happened at all;
Nig knew and chose not to brawl.
And from then on Nig watched his back;
Cleverness he did not lack.
He planned to exact his revenge,
And be Captain of his friends.
The other young laddies agreed
When Nig offered them fresh mead.
It was in the middle of day,
When Nig stood and went to say,
“Captain, there’s something on portside
It’s giant and awful wide.”
When the Captain came to the edge,
Nig pushed him over the ledge.
The Captain could swim mighty well;
But the wind made a great swell.
There were mermaids toward where he fell,
And they dragged him straight to hell.