Hungover.

He came into my life like vodka…

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He came into my life like vodka—

It was all too much, too fast, too soon.

His lips tasted like a Jell-O shot,

And I ended up drunk before noon.

But now a bitter sun has risen,

And my lover could no longer stay.

It will take so much more than Advil

To make this hangover go away.

Game of Chess.

Let’s play…

We are dancing around the board;

I’m on a black square, you’ve found the white.

You say it’s fine if I hurt you—

I hope that is true because I might.

There’s a knight standing beside me,

And a bishop that beckons you still.

Perhaps we should cut this game short;

By now, we both should have had our fill.

You suggest we let this play out,

And because I don’t want it to end,

I’m willing to finish this round—

Although it’s torture, I won’t pretend.

The pieces are all out of whack;

We are playing a game we can’t win.

But we’re dancing around the board,

And I just want one last little spin.

Checkmate is mine for the taking,

But I want this sick game to go on.

You have made me feel like a Queen,

Though I’m probably only a pawn.

Perhaps you weren’t clear on the rules,

Or thought it was alright to cheat.

My strategy has been all wrong;

The force will knock us off of our feet.

This has cost us both far too much,

But somehow I do not love you less.

We should never have dared to play

Such a goddamn twisted game of chess.

Tiptoe.

“You will lose each other…”

“You will lose each other.”

We panic and we flail.

No, this cannot happen—

The loss would haunt us both.

Our ache is ancient;

Our story is not new.

We have loved too deeply,

And for not long enough.

So we devise a plan:

He and I will tiptoe,

And whisper “I love you”

Where no one can hear us.

We will keep still and calm,

And try our very best

Not to wound each other

With any careless words.

But we would be wounded,

And the loss would haunt,

Because for every laugh

That the two of us shared,

There would be a tear shed,

And an angry bruise formed.

We were greedy, you see—

Greedy for each other.

There was never enough…

Time, kisses, private jokes.

I swear our friends could tell;

Warning was in their eyes.

We did not know it then,

But we would destroy this.

Somewhere along the way,

The foundation rotted.

We panicked and we flailed,

And then the floor gave out.

The dust hasn’t settled;

It hangs there, suspended.

This burden is weighty,

But I bear it alone.

You once called this fate.

DOES IT FEEL LIKE FATE NOW?

We have loved too deeply,

And for not long enough.

Rust.

To my old self of the past…

To my old self of the past:

You will love but it won’t last,

It will all move very fast,

And then you will feel cheated.

You will start out fresh and new,

But you won’t have any clue,

And the way he looks at you

Will make your skin feel heated.

But the shine will turn to rust,

He will take from you your trust,

And under the spell of lust

You won’t know you’re mistreated.

You will say that it’s alright,

Though his grip is far too tight,

And you will put up no fight,

But still you’ll be defeated.

I Lied.

I said I didn’t love you, but I lied.

I said I didn’t love you, but I lied.

Between head or heart, how could I decide?

I confessed my woes, and you simply sighed;

The timing of all this had not complied.

You didn’t scorn me as I cried and cried.

I had fallen so hard, and you had tried

To let me know that you were on my side—

Even now, after this affair has died.

I’ll think of you when all this blood has dried,

When I no longer feel the need to hide.

I wish that I could take this all in stride,

But the oceans of my regret are wide.

For my sake, you have swallowed up your pride,

And accepted the pain I feel inside.

Your heartstrings and mine will always be tied;

I said I didn’t love you, but I lied.