Unwanted Visitor.

My conscience came a-knocking…

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My conscience came a-knocking,

And he stood there at my door.

He was checking in with me

Just like all the times before.

Last time, I gave him crumpets,

And wished he was doing well.

He sat in my living room,

Chatting with me for a  spell.

But this time would be different,

And I knew it right away.

There he was at my peep-hole,

But I had nothing to say.

The timing wasn’t good then;

I had other things to do.

“Please come back another time.

I must kindly tell you: shoo!”

But Conscience wouldn’t have it,

And he pounded on the door.

He kept calling out my name

And it made my eardrums sore.

I’d boarded up the windows,

And locked every single room.

The air was getting musty;

My house had become a tomb.

I didn’t want him in there;

I just couldn’t let him see

The way things were decaying,

And what had become of me.

At long last, the pounding ceased,

And I thought he would relent.

I sank, crying, to the floor,

All of my energy spent.

But then I heard a whisper,

Barely an audible sound:

“Please just open up the door.

What is lost can still be found.”

I’d hid lies in my closet,

And foul deeds under the rug,

But these words of his were kind,

And they gave my heart a tug.

So I opened up the door,

And I let him come inside.

I brought out some stale crumpets,

And I swallowed down my pride.

He swept out all of the dust,

And mended what had decayed.

He took up in the guest room;

He settled here and he stayed.

Game of Chess.

Let’s play…

We are dancing around the board;

I’m on a black square, you’ve found the white.

You say it’s fine if I hurt you—

I hope that is true because I might.

There’s a knight standing beside me,

And a bishop that beckons you still.

Perhaps we should cut this game short;

By now, we both should have had our fill.

You suggest we let this play out,

And because I don’t want it to end,

I’m willing to finish this round—

Although it’s torture, I won’t pretend.

The pieces are all out of whack;

We are playing a game we can’t win.

But we’re dancing around the board,

And I just want one last little spin.

Checkmate is mine for the taking,

But I want this sick game to go on.

You have made me feel like a Queen,

Though I’m probably only a pawn.

Perhaps you weren’t clear on the rules,

Or thought it was alright to cheat.

My strategy has been all wrong;

The force will knock us off of our feet.

This has cost us both far too much,

But somehow I do not love you less.

We should never have dared to play

Such a goddamn twisted game of chess.

Naught but This City

I slip on my ripped up tee-shirt,

Covering last night’s bruises.

I face grey eyes in the mirror,

Rimmed with dark purple splotches.

Sissy gives me a hug goodbye,

And we head our separate ways;

The heat is stifling and thick;

Georgia and her sweet revenge.

I do my time in the jail-cell,

Taking each word in slowly.

They congest my mouth with paper,

Fill my throbbing veins with ink.

I puke out the information

And purge facts from my insides.

The walk home is long and fetid;

The air smells of loss and piss.

I pass poor and rich folk alike,

Bound to naught but this city.

When I get back home he’s angry,

And I feel his swinging fist;

Sissy cowers in the kitchen–

Not the first time, but she’s scared.

I take it like the times before–

Better to accept the pain;

At least then he won’t hurt Sissy

And we can both stay alive.

Next morning I put on my shirt,

And cover last night’s bruises.

Today they’ll fill my veins with ink,

Tonight he’ll hit me again.

I look at myself in the glass,

See the grey eyes rimmed with red.

Beside a fresh bruise is a grin;

For I have one thing they don’t:

Love.

A Single Moment

“I love you”

I used to doubt those words,

Like I doubted true love

And all the bright, happy things

That came along with it.

But with you here beside me,

I finally feel

Like I can let go of the hurt

And the pain I’ve gone through.

You heal me with your touch

And lift me with your kiss.

You are a special kind

Of beautiful

That takes my breath away.

You break the shadows

With your cheery smile,

And take the grief

Out of my weary eyes.

When I am with you,

I feel as light as air.

Like I could fly away

And lie in the clouds,

Without the fear of falling

Or breaking my heart.

You keep me anchored;

You give me a home

And a person to love

And a reason to live.

You are a million reasons

Why I wake up happy,

Why I smile and why I laugh.

Six months ago,

I didn’t believe in true love,

Happy-ever-after,

Or love at first sight.

But in a single moment,

You have swept away the hurt

And replaced it with a love

So pure and so deep

That I find myself believing.